Whose Side Are You On?
Luke 10:38-42
Sermon delivered Sunday, April 19, 2009
by Rev. Richard Fernandez
When John, our oldest son, was dating Vance Dailey he was invited to the Dailey home for dinner. It was the first dinner for John at the Daileys' and both he and Vance were in their mid-twenties. I am sure you can appreciate what this kind of parent-review ethos must have been operating. But that is when it happened...it happened after dinner. As all had finished their desert and were sitting at the table enjoying their time together in conversation John, got up, cleared the table and busied himself doing the dishes. Bill and Nancy, Vance's parents, were quite taken back. They promptly let Vance know that John was a "keeper." Apparently she agreed.
We all have our family routines. When our boys were growing up I did the shopping, Happy prepared dinner and the boys did the dishes. Nothing very dramatic about that. The Dailey family had a different routine and perhaps, having raised three daughters not sons, they didn't realize that boys or young men could actually do the dishes!
So here we are with Martha and Mary. Rabbi Jesus decides to stop by one afternoon to visit his friends Mary and Martha. Here is what we know. Mary and Martha, sisters, lived together with their brother Lazarus. Martha was the oldest of the three so one could assume that she owned the house.
Let's imagine how this went down – we have to fill in a few spaces as Luke only gave us the big picture. I mean four verses isn't actually a story but a tiny snapshot!
So Jesus comes into the living room and they chat for a few moments and Mary and Jesus sit down as Martha scurries off to the kitchen to see what she can find to serve their honored guest and friend.
Martha polishes some silver ware...
Begins to boil water for tea...
Cuts lemon wedges...
Slices some banana bread...
Perhaps a bowl of fruit – figs, dates...whatever
all the while becoming more and more resentful that Mary is just sitting on her behind not lifting a finger to help her.
Meanwhile there sat Mary in the living room, star struck as she listened to Jesus. One source said she was googoo-eyed...I can imagine that to have been the case.
Mary seemed totally unaware of Martha out there in the kitchen.
Finally, Martha had had enough...she was tired of being taken for granted by her sister. She was tired of Mary always assuming she'd do the dirty work...just plain sick and tired of it she was.
Coming into the small living room, her face flushed and her hands on her hips she addresses Jesus, "Lord do you not care that my sister has left me to do all the work by myself?" She's hoping she can count on Jesus to be her ally
Now we all know, peaceable people that we are, there was another more diplomatic way Martha could have handled this situation. She could have stuck her head through the doorway to the living room and asked Mary to come in the kitchen for a moment. In the kitchen Martha could have said what she pleased to Mary and encouraged her to help with the goodies.
But, since many of us are or have been siblings we know that Martha didn't want a private conversation with her sister. She wanted to embarrass Mary in front of their esteemed friend. She wanted to involve Jesus in her outrage trusting he'd side with her against Mary.
This is the adult version of two young brothers getting into a squabble and one of them cries, "Mommy, Mommy Billy's hitting me!"
Now before anyone jumps on Martha we should be very careful.
Martha was doing what she does best: Getting some food and beverage together for a valued friend. You can be sure that whatever she was putting together out in that kitchen would be presented nicely.
The world is a better and a more hospitable place because of the Marthas ...
- Who make sure there are fresh flowers for guests...
- Who fold the napkins at the dinner table with care...
- And who welcome even distant guests as valued family members.
And by the way am I the only person here who, when entertaining gets, ticked off at...
- guests who spill wine on the carpet and just sit there waiting for the me to clean it up...
- dinner guests who assume that only I have the physical capacity to lift a dish up and and bring it to the kitchen after a meal?
Whatever else might be going on in this too brief story I do understand and identify with Martha's angst or agitation or whatever you want to call it.
But Martha will get no help from Jesus. "Martha, Martha you are worried and distracted by many things, but there is need for only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her."
So much for involving Jesus!
Please notice that Jesus did not respond directly to Martha's concern. Rather, he affirmed Mary's decision to stay with him to listen and to learn.
Here is where the story ends. I find it a bit frustrating. What happens next for goodness sake?
Does Martha stomp out of the room in disgust...
Does Martha sit down and allow her food preparation to wait...
Perhaps Jesus urged Mary to get up and help her sister.
We just don't know.
It is my contention that if Jesus had a feminist bone in his body he would have said to Mary, "Let's go into the kitchen and help Martha and we carry on our conversation together."
We do not know what happens next. We do know that Jesus was clearly affirming Mary's spiritual hunger and quest.
Here is what I don't think we should do in spite of Luke's attempt to push us in this direction: We should not take sides. Now I'm not against taking sides generally. There are times when taking sides is critical. Lukewarm is not a Christian temperature. From my days as a fundamentalist I remember Revelations 3:16, "Would that thou are either hot or cold but because thou are lukewarm I will spew thee out of my mouth." I do know that lukewarm can be dangerous and sometimes off putting.
Jane Carol Redmond warns against taking sides and tells us of others who have. We have in times past an English group who opposed the emancipation of women who called themselves the Martha Movement. And, Redmond reports, "We have Mary, in more recent times reinterpreted as the model for women in theological education."
Here is what I think.
I identify with Martha as the somewhat behind the scene person who, whether in the home or the community, is always figuring out some specific and useful way to better a situation...one small step at a time. I am drawn to Mary for quite a different reason. Mary is the person who pays attention to her inward life, not as an end in itself, but as a means to assure that she is walking with God. Mary wants always and everywhere to be able to say with the Psalmist this morning: "As a hart longs for a flowing stream, so longs my soul for the living God." That's a pretty special place to be coming from.
Even more I am drawn to Mary for her simple act of wanting to listen to Jesus. Listening is in short supply in our culture these days. But we all know that listening is the first face of love. The more one listens the more love can grow. So Mary also has my vote.
So a friend who is a business consultant would ask, "What's the take away from this story?"
There might be more than one answer to that question.
Many years ago the Reverend Archie Hargraves, a UCC Pastor in Brooklyn, unwittingly answered this question. Here is what he said:
"The world is one big poker game being run by God. The task for the Christian is to wake up each morning and, with a Bible in one hand and the newspaper in the other, figure out where God's acting and join in."
A Bible in one hand a newspaper in the other...I think that would satisfy both Martha and Mary.
Now you're saying "Isn't that just like Dick. First he makes us think that Mary and Martha are opposites and we might have to chose one; then he makes it clear that in this particular instance that we should not think of these two women as opposites but that each supplements the other; then, typical of him, he gives us a nice quote that we can go home with."
It's our take away.
That might seem all very neat. But it is not the end.
I was appreciative of our Pastor Patricia Pearce last week who, in her sermon, identified one of her gremlins (problems). I told her afterward that I found her willingness to be vulnerable, in sharing her gremlin, was the highlight of her sermon for me.
Now it is my turn. I want to share one my gremlins. My gremlin is my strong inclination to identify with Martha because it supports my life long organizers style. Doing the practical behind the scenes stuff that...
- Results in a good conference...
- Results in an effective demonstration for peace or justice...
- Produces a new personnel policy or...
- Helps to usher in a new public policy
This is the kind stuff I've done during all my years in the ministry.
I am, I confess, practical to a fault. My old friend Reverend Bill Coffin use to chide me with a smile, saying, "Richard when I see a problem I write a sermon, when you see one you write a memo on how to correct it."
But where has Mary been in my life?
I know I've followed Hargraves admonition about having the newspaper in my hand...but where has the Bible been?
If you're like me one of the tricks we play is rationalizing our gremlins. In this exercise we fool only ourselves but we do it anyway!
So where has my Bible been? Here is my short list or rationalizations...
- When I was a fundamentalist fifty years ago I read the Bible through two or three times in two years and I could quote more Bible verses than I'd ever dare to live by.
- In seminary I studied the scriptures a lot...
- I taught a course in Liberation Theology one summer...
- I prepare a few sermons a year, perform weddings and funeral services using the Bible...
- Ten years ago on a 3 month sabbatical I read about seven books authored by Jewish mystic and old friend Rabbi Abraham Heschel and five about the life and ministry of Sojourner Truth...which for me was a little like holding the Bible because of way in which the two of them challenged some of my long held religious views.
Well, you get the picture...I'm kind of sporadic about holding my Bible in the other hand.
Have I missed something in my life by my lack of attention to Scripture? Yup...to quote a very famous Alaskan..."you betcha I have."
What have I missed? By not staying with my Bible education and reflection I probably have missed more than I know. But this I do know. Studying scripture alone and among friends helps to create a larger frame of reference to live by and a deeper sense of grace to live.
A larger frame of reference to live by and a deeper sense of grace to live in...
So that's my gremlin.
How about you...are you ...Martha or Mary?
You say you are a perfect blend of both women?
Lucky, lucky you!
Amen
© 2009 by Richard Fernandez
